A wife asked husband to describe her. He said," You are A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K". she said,"What does that mean?".
He replied," Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful. elegant, fantastic, gorgeous, homely.."
She said excitedly ," Oh ! That's so lovely. What about I, J, K"
He finished," I'm Just Kidding".
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"నువ్వు మన పొరిగింటాయనతో అంత కేర్ ఫ్రీగా మాట్లాడటం నాకు నచ్చడం లేదు" కోపంగా అన్నడు సుధాకర్ భార్యతో.
"ఏం? మీరు మాత్రం ఆయనతో ఆయన భార్యతో అంత ఫ్రీగా మాట్లాడటం లేదూ?" అన్నది భార్య.
"నాకేం? నేను మగాణ్ణి"
"మరి ఆయన మాత్రం మగాడు కాదూ?" అన్నది భార్య.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"ఈ రోజు మీ ఇంట్లో బెండకాయ కూర చేశారు కదూ వదినా?"
"అరె! అంత కరెక్టుగా ఎలా చెప్పగలిగారు?"
"రాత్రి మా దొడ్లో బెండకాయలు ఎవరో దంగవెధవలు కోసుకెళ్ళార్లే"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is ABCDEFG?
A Boy Can Do Everything For a Girl!
But what is GFEDCBA? (The Opposite)
Girl Forgets Everything Done and Catches new Boy Again!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it called a TOOTHbrush when you brush all of your teeth at the same time?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why don't they call
people from Holland Holes?
Why are black boxes actually yellow and not called yellow
boxes?
What clothes does a house wear? Address.
What does the latest label on HP Laptops say? Intel inside ... Fool outside!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She said, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked... "Then why did you eat him?" .
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up a nd say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'
'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?'
The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A young boy asks his Dad :"What is the difference between confident and confidential?
Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my
son, THAT is confidential.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Husband asks:
"Do u know that the meaning of WIFE is:
W ithout
I nformation
F ighting
E very-time
Wife replies:
" No,......
It means:
W ith
I diot
F or
E ver !!!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
Man : Is there any way for long life?
Doctor : Get married.
Man : Will it help?
Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come.
